Meeting Your Father

Meeting Your Father

It was Great Aunt who introduced me to your father.  I remember riding in the elevator of the building on Riverside Drive, where lived the Ambassador and his family for whom I worked.  Much to my surprise, on the elevator ride I met Great Aunt, who was working for another family in the building.  “They work for the new Chinese language newspaper and grew tired of American food – so they brought me over to America to cook for them”.  I told her of my plight with the Ambassador, and that my 3 year commitment to them was almost up.  Elder brother advised me against returning to China as Mao and his army were waging a terrible was against the Nationalist government.  Great Aunt wanted to introduce me to someone, “He isn’t rich but is honest and hard-working.  He also has never been married”.   I knew that men often would get married to wives on both sides of the ocean and I did not want to be any part of that kind of life. 

Your father and I first met at a small Chinese restaurant on Riverside Drive and 68^th Street in Manhattan.    He was tall and handsome and well dressed in a suit.  I had on a light blue top and a dark blue skirt that apparently made me look very young.  “How old are you?” he asked in the middle of dinner.  “Twenty-one,” I replied.  “You look so much younger,” he responded.   “I told great aunt that she was mistaken for introducing me to someone who was only 13 years old when I was twenty-eight”.

Your father was polite, soft-spoken and well mannered during dinner.   We spoke comfortably during dinner and I truly enjoyed his company.  However, I told great aunt that I could never see a future with him.  “I hate that he smokes.”  This apparently was relayed to him and he quit smoking for the 3 months prior to our marriage.  He did pick up the habit again after we married, although he tried on numerous occasions to quit.  I don’t think I ever really appreciated how hard it was for him to quit.  He later told me that he had begun smoking at the age of 8, encouraged by his grandmother.   I know now how addictive cigarettes can be, like opium.   He eventually died of lung cancer, which had spread, to his liver.   I guess his grandmother never really realized how bad smoking could be to one’s health.  In any event, we married 3 months after our initial encounter, and it lasted for the next 44 years until his passing.